Just Your Standard Bull

Michael Sturgess, Southern Livestock Standard

November 27, 2023

On this day, Tuesday, November 21, 2023, I hereby declare my candidacy for the head football coach position at Texas A&M University. Furthermore, I will be seeking fully guaranteed compensation for a period no less than 10 years in the amount of $5 million dollars per year. Yes—we’re talking about 50% off sale baby!

But wait—there’s more!

For the amount Texas A&M will save, I pledge to invest in another “consulting” position on the staff that will serve as our general manager. The person in this role will head up our efforts in recruiting and the transfer portal. In addition, that person will evaluate players and their individual NIL agreements. The general manager will have two primaries under his management, a recruiting coordinator and a portal coordinator, and other such support staff as needed.

I will of course, hire both an offensive and defensive coordinator. They will of course, answer directly to me. With the assistance of the offensive coordinator, I will hire a running backs coach, a quarterback coach, and an offensive line coach. They will answer directly to the offensive coordinator.

I will then hire a defensive coordinator, and with his assistance, hire a defensive line coach, a linebacker coach and a defensive backs coach. They will answer directly to the defensive coordinator, who will then answer directly to me.

And finally, I will hire a special teams coordinator, because the special teams are a vital part of any football program. He will answer directly to me.

The chain of command shall be strictly adhered to. It will not matter how long you have been with the program, where you are from or where you have been, ALL assistant coaches and support staff will answer directly to their respective coordinator. No exceptions will be made.

As your head coach, I fully understand that I answer to the Athletic director and to the Board of Regents. I will serve at their behest—just as my staff, coordinators and assistance coaches serve at mine.

We will be a results-based organization. Talent may get you here, but only results guarantee your return. The entire staff and the players will adhere to the standards expected by this university. Staff rules will apply to all staff members. Player rules will apply to all players. No exceptions will be made.

It won’t be about my x’s and o’s. It will be about our x’s and o’s. And they will be exceptional.

Much is said about how Texas A&M is a 40-year decision. But there is also another saying that goes to those who are given much, much is expected. Our staff and student athletes must live up to a higher standard. 

And finally, I pledge to you that I will adapt to the ever-changing environment that is college football. Any successful business owner knows that one must adapt to survive. There was a time when you could make a living delivering milk door-to-door. But the milk man is a thing of our past. To not adapt is simply not an option.

If you find these terms to be acceptable, I can be easily reached. And I can start as early as next week!

Southern Livestock

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